Frequently Asked Questions

1. What's the difference between Collaborative Practice and Mediation?
2. What’s the difference between Collaborative Practice and Litigation?
3. What training do collaborative lawyers and mediators have?
4. Why are these models better than traditional adversarial models?
5. Do I have to use a full "team" in a collaborative divorce?
6. Can people using mediation also use Coaches and Child or Financial Specialists?
7. What does "client-centered" mean?
8. How do I know which process is best for me?
9. What kinds of agreements are generated in each process?
10. How long does the process take? Both Collaborative Practice and Mediation.
11. What happens if the process breaks down?
12. How do I enlist my spouse in the process?
13. What is the cost of these processes?

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Answers

1. What is the difference between Collaborative Practice (CP) and mediation?

Mediation and Collaborative Practice are both voluntary, you-centered, and private family law approaches to marriage dissolution — without going to court. Divorce attorneys who do both have the goal of identifying your goals and interests, your spouse’s goals and interests, and facilitating communication and cooperation that leads to a win-win resolution. Though the end goals are the same, the processes differ a little.

In divorce mediation, the parties meet with a neutral third party, called a mediator. The mediator does not advocate for or give legal advice to either you or your spouse. You and your spouse have the option to consult with an independent attorney or with other professionals (mental health, financial, child health) to get any additional support you may need.

In collaborative practice, those additional professionals (mental health, financial, child professionals) are literally hard-wired into the process. You and your spouse each have an attorney and a divorce coach. The attorney’s role is to advise and guide you through the legal process. The divorce coach (a mental health professional) helps you identify what you want and coaches you about effectively managing the difficult emotions that often arise on the divorce journey. The financial professional and child professional provide you and your spouse with the clear information you both need to make the very best decisions possible for your family moving forward.

2. What is the difference between Collaborative Practice and Litigation?

First, in collaborative practice, you and your spouse control the process. In litigation you cede that control to your attorney, a court system and a judge. In collaborative practice, all team members move away from an adversarial model and toward a collaborative model. In collaborative practice we can make much more efficient use of everyone’s time, which costs less money. In collaborative practice you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse hear clear information from the same experts at the same time, which enables you and your spouse to make the best decisions possible. In this process everyone works together toward a solution that works for both you and your spouse. Unlike the adversarial process where one party has to win at the expense of the other — this process seeks a workable solution that helps build bridges to the future, instead of re-hashing the past.

3. What training do collaborative lawyers and mediators have?

Many of the skills are the same. Both mediators and collaborative law professionals have extensive training in communication, conflict resolution, and working as a team to support you and your spouse. Not all mediators are attorneys. If mediators are attorneys (as is my case) they also have legal training.

4. Why are these models better than traditional adversarial models?

The traditional adversarial divorce often results in an escalation of anger and hostility between spouses — that can sometimes last for years. Couples can choose another way — one that is more client-centered and respectful. Mediation and Collaborative Practice offer valuable tools to settle differences without becoming adversaries. These processes set a pathway for divorcing partners to restructure their families and engage in respectful relationships moving forward particularly with regard to co-parenting.

5. Do I have to use a full team in a collaborative divorce?

You can use whatever available services you think will be most helpful to you and your spouse. That said, the ultimate goal of collaborative practice is to help you and your spouse come to agreement and stay out of court. In order to do that quickly and efficiently, it takes a holistic approach. Divorce is complex. It’s overwhelming. It’s traumatic. The more help you have to navigate one of the most difficult transitions in your life, the better. After 25 years of practice I have learned that taking the extra help speeds up the process and minimizes the emotional turmoil and stress. If you are responsible for co-parenting children, the strategies you learn from the process can be invaluable in helping everyone move through child custody issues toward a new life.

6. Can people using mediation also use Coaches and Child or Financial Professionals?

Of course. The beauty of non-adversarial divorce alternatives is that each process is flexible enough to meet your needs and the needs of your soon-to-be-ex spouse. The use of Collaborative Professionals in Mediation is a really good choice for those on a tighter budget who want the help in sorting out the complexities.

7. What does "client-centered" mean?

A client-centered approach relies on the fact that, ultimately, you know what is best for you and your family. In the end you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse know better than any judge or attorney what will work for you moving forward. The role of the collaborative practice attorney and/or mediator is to help you and your spouse tap into what you really want and need and what will work in the long haul.

In the traditional adversarial system, forces collide to prevent you and your spouse from clearly identifying what is best in the long haul. With all that adversarial noise, it’s hard for you and your spouse to make the very best decisions possible.

8. How do I know which process is best for me?

In the end it depends on how much support you and your spouse will need to collaboratively engage. If you need a bit more support to work through some things, the collaborative process may provide that support. If your issues are less complex and you and your spouse have agreement on some issues related to process and outcome, the mediation process may be a good place to start. For either process, you both have to know that you want to stay out of court and engage in a non-adversarial process. What is often best is to sit down with an attorney or mediator and discuss all the models and options.

9. What kinds of agreements are generated in each process?

In Collaborative Practice and Mediation the couple is working toward the creation of a Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) which is sent to court for approval. This agreement contains the issues agreed upon by the couple. In Collaborative Practice there are two documents signed before the process begins — an Agreement to Collaborate and Guidelines for the process.

10. How long does the process take?

Both Collaborative Practice and Mediation are relatively short-term processes that do not take years for completion. Generally, the couple and their lawyers meet from 3 to 6 times before all solutions have been reached. The process can take longer, depending on the complexity of the problems. It can also be even shorter if there is active involvement by the couple.

11. What happens if the process breaks down?

Sometimes one person may refuse to work toward an agreement. If that happens I cannot be your adversarial lawyer in court. The strength of either process is a focus on creative problem-solving that will result in a fair and reasonable solution for all concerned. And, in either Collaborative Practice or Mediation, we have the option to enlist additional professionals. These may include professionals who serve as coaches — a financial professional, a mental health professional or a child professional. Other experts can also be used in the Mediation process: business evaluators, appraisers or certified public accountants — with the cost shared by the couple. These professionals can be very effective in breaking an impasse if it should occur.

12. How do I enlist my spouse in the process?

Talk to your spouse and find out about his or her preferences. Some clients prefer to have a lawyer providing counsel and advice. Others want to speak for themselves. If there are children involved, either model is better than the adversarial process because these models build a bridge to the future. Researching the options and offering this to your spouse, along with an explanation of how it might benefit her/him can be useful. Making the small investment in a consultation with a collaborative attorney or mediator (with both parties present) can also help your spouse choose the appropriate process.

13. What is the cost of these processes?

Both Mediation and Collaborative Practice typically cost much less than hiring two attorneys who will battle it out in court. Mediators/lawyers have a fee schedule that is appropriate for their experience. Additional professionals (financial, business or mental health professional) have their own fee schedules as well.

Generally, mediation is less expensive than collaborative practice. And collaborative practice is generally less expensive than litigation. Cost will depend on the number of issues that need to be resolved, how complex the issues are, and how cooperative you and your spouse engage in the process. Generally fees are reduced when you and your spouse are prepared, follow through on tasks you agree upon, and use your best efforts in communicating with honesty and respect. It is estimated that the average litigated divorce costs each party $20,000. Complex litigated cases can cost each party $40,000 and higher, so it behooves you and your spouse to explore non-adversarial options if cost is a consideration (and, frankly, I see very few cases where it is not).

My fees are $350 an hour plus costs for filing. I charge $3000 for the final Marital Settlement agreement. That cost is typically split with your soon to be ex spouse.

I offer a free consultation, so you can learn more about your options.